The recent state of world affairs (or rather, the media's emphasis on the issues) is a good reminder to me how philosophers can be made both deeply despised or deeply relished. A reminder of how propositions, logic, theorems, solutions and arguments can sound feeble when it tries to be meshed with the actual reality. A reminder that the world has almost took it for granted that values, ideals and beauty has to have a grey to actually exist - because of how it looks like when it tries to be just black and white. (I do notice the irony of the expression)

After all, wasn't it the insistence of my way that caused it? Wasn't it the stupidity of it should be such-and-such that resulted in it? Is the grain of such a determination really part of the human spirit when it has summoned so much hurt and divide? If salvation is found in letting the self fade from the picture, to pour out and serve others - isn't this the part of self that is left hanging onto the supposed 'relationships equation'? The 'trying to impose on me' bit, the connotations of pride, the underlying arrogance, the unrelenting assumptions that are awkwardly dipped in pity... Yes, it does sound a lot like the self is still in the picture.

As a Christian, I believe in absolute Truth. There are philosophical arguments (if we seriously just forget all that justified true belief, skepticism and whatever nonsense there is in epistemology -_-) that can show how this concept, at the core of reality (without the societal and cultural complications) has to be a component of it for the concept of reality to actually function. However, the strongest arguments against it are far from being philosophical. It usually starts of as a altruistically simple conviction as "tolerate differences - in fact, celebrate differences!" which can slippery-slope to "accept all differences!" which is where the fallacy of an egalitarianism of ideas - and not people - occurs. The Christians' response is that its an egalitarianism of people and not of ideas, that makes reasonable, logical, and let me argue -

emotional sense.

The hanging question in the preceding paragraph i.e. whether the self is still left in the picture, can be answered by another question- Can the self be completely removed from it? If we pour ourselves out, if we decide to love another, if we decide to render help to a person... is there something of the self that has to remain?

Strangely, it was a scene from Avenue Q that had set me thinking about it. I had watched it a few weeks back and remembered the audience that had burst into resounding, emphatic applause when the first part of it ended with the heart-wrenching solo "There's a fine, fine line" sang by a single party. She was hurt because of the other party's promiscuity in the relationship.

If we think about the words that are used to justify an absolute truth. Words like...

What if we did not find the above words in the script of a debater justifying absolute truths... but instead, on a card written to a loved one on the person's birthday? Or on a simple text message that encourages someone for a test? Or on a handwritten letter whose author had tried his best to express what it meant?

The Christian God is a God that has a relationship with His people. It means speaking to his people personally - Like King Nebuchadnezzar, who was brought down from his glory to depths of insanity until he realised the sovereignty of God. Like Joshua, who was given courage to lead the Israelites in claiming Canaan. Like Nehemiah, who had to face the discouragement of how the Men in Judah had fallen into sinful ways when he returned to Jerusalem.

It was because he choosed them.

Hence, they were special to Him.

When we say Jesus Christ is the only way to God and there is no one else.

It's something like that.

"Mammy was soon asleep, leaving Laila with dueling emotions: reassured that Mammy meant to live on, stung that she was not the reason. She would never leave her mark on Mammy's heart the way her brothers had, because Mammy's heart was like a pallid beach where Laila's footprints would forever wash away beneath the waves of sorrow that swelled and crashed, swelled and crashed." -- A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini

Actually, its not that I have progressed in literary ability to such a point (yeah, I think it should be considered a progression) its more because of the blurred utility of my blog. A post that is detached from an actual reality, musing over just the concepts of a particular abstraction is naturally difficult to conjure because of the relation that particular abstraction has with the reality that had in the first place triggered the muse. 

If I had meant the blog to be an expression of the essentials of something fully- the relevant details, the personal emotions and the thoughts on the reality itself (rather than the subject matter) has to be mentioned. The convictions gained and spoils from the aftermath gathered would be less understood otherwise. 

But well. I also realised that was not what I had meant it to be. 

Loved ones understand. Some friends understand. God understands the full depth. And thats where the true expressions of what life is exist. Not in a philosophy classroom, a seminary, a debate or even a blog - but in a simple conversation over a meal. In a jog with a friend. In a prayer when the night falls, and you can't get to sleep. 

-

As I told those who had asked, I probably only saw Bangkok through the eyes of a tourist- 

The altars outside most of the large buildings where I noticed some Thais would look towards and bring their palms together, as if saying a silent prayer before leaving the area.

The movie-goers' mixed expressions as they rose when the movie theatre screen flashed a short clip before the movie played, requesting everyone to stand to pay respects to the king

The plants growing around metallic wires that formed an elephant as part of the roadside decoration, although the plants didn't manage to grow the cover the tusks area. 

The beggers holding cups and positioning themselves and their children along the overhead bridge leading into the one of the main city area shopping malls.

The mega shopping malls filled with high end boutiques, plastered with large consumer product advertisements and surrounded by early christmas decorations, just overlooking the roadside stalls selling snacks that were cooked on the spot.  

The man who asked my group if we wanted to ride a cab to the malls, and followed us until we were quite a distance from the hotel to see if we would change our mind.

I guess its a little sad that such simple snapshots my memory recalled will remain in that superficial, fading glimpse. I guess If we don't attach ourselves onto the cause that calls out to us to answer..  many, many things can become like that.