Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Respect because of a higher basis
How do we measure how fit a person is to be respected? This is probably one of the rare philosophical things NSFs will ponder over, especially when they are in pumping position and the one who called for it isn't reaally imparting much 'life lessons' over the supposed punishment. This bitterness and spite felt over the lousy leadership and inefficient way of doing things usually acts as a foil to the leaders who are actually competent in management. This somehow gives the latter ability to order for 20 push-ups and end with everyone feeling justified that they were punished (although they really did 60 push-ups with extra crunches and jumping jacks too)
But as such days are already long over for me(:P), I'm actually thinking over a different sort of respect.
The starting point of respect towards a good leader is based on an assessment of the person's leadership. Perhaps he has qualities like leading by serving. Maybe he understands how to execute a firmness with a gentle touch. Its possible that his skillful in peppering the training with personal touches and appropriate points of light-heartedness. Ultimately, he proved himself to be someone to be respected.
This form of respect is earned. Do the right things, give the correct impression, be a role model, make some sacrifices - people will appreciate you, and people will respect you. The basis of this respect is demonstrated competence. On closer observation, one will realise that this form of respect is actually quite superficial. The concept that individuals who experienced working life will understand, that there is a difference with being a good worker and showing that you are a good worker, also applies.
But is there another form of respect, built on a different basis?
I think so, and for greater effect, lets approach it from a negative starting point -
A parent. Say, a mother. 'Uneducated' (as society deems). Had raised her two children by working hard at her clerk job which paid just enough if she did overtime. Traveling to and fro to her working place takes up time. By the time she reaches home to cook for the family and finish the housework, all energy for her to enjoy time for herself in the prime of her life, is sapped away. Still, enough money is made for the children's meals, leisure, occasional wants and education. Following which... gratitude is repaid with her children becoming her authority on finance, on material needs, on healthcare. Etcetera.
Do her children respect her? Of course they do. But on what basis are they using, by what principle do they mean when they say that they respect her? Do take note I do not mean the extremes of neglect or abuse here. I am referring to a much more common, much more acceptable phenomena.
I mean, just to ride on the example of parents - what does respect mean when one sees that they are possibly depending on their children to provide for them? What does respect mean when children seem to have the educational edge over them when in the first actuality, the parents were the ones who had groomed and nurtured the very fiber of the kid's formative years? What does respect mean when a parent has to fear a child's instructions and provisions, having to listen to what the child says?
How does a child execute respect if in all honesty - a parent has no financial security, no educational upperhand, and you are the giver?
Same concept here in a different way - a classroom of autism children who sobbed and sobbed and sobbed upon hearing the news of their teacher who had passed away.
Another example, a kid who keeps smiling and saying thank you to one at an orphanage who was there giving food items.
Of course, it must be questioned - in all cases, are we really at the position of the giver?
Society already has enough "Key-Performance Indicators" (ahem. Civil Service -_-) to prove this and to grade that, and doing a job that requires me to meet targets like that ironically reminds me that... some things really don't have any need to be proven.
Respect, and for that matter, love, is not something earned based on such a cold assessment.
I believe that the value of respect where it lies in its purest form, is not in the arenas and battles for glory. Where it really lies, is deep within who we are as people. Deep within every person's soul and being is a dignity that shines and whispers.
When we hear that voice, let us respect.
Labels: muse, NS
_____________Zoneseekers..::
by a perspective that relies on the author of Truth...
10:57 PM
While I was running
When one detaches from everything for awhile and allow the reality around to be a distant observation for the time being, I don't think it means a deeper awareness of what things really mean can be yielded.
Sure- Things like the irritations, the complications, the burdens, and all the other very human factors can all be dissolved away into not being of any importance. Fundamental questions that do not seem to have exact resolutions can be easily ignored. Essences of things that are not yet understood, can be let go. And doing all that, is not out of spite or a numbing indifference, or even out of resignation. Its just because, one is in such a moment (or more aptly really, just because)
But even without asking all that, it still doesn't mean that no questions will be asked at all.
Especially the questions that don't need answers or explanations, or maybe are not even appropriate for such a way of response.
Because... we would always be searching for an expression of life. Something that will be potent enough to say what it actually means, something that will be worthy enough to do justice to what it is, something that will be moving enough to be personal to what we are. And in the first place, such a search is not something obvious even when we engage with life itself.
A moment of pain, savoured over about an hour can be such a reminder about the human spirit - as well as my God who saves.
Labels: Life, muse
_____________Zoneseekers..::
by a perspective that relies on the author of Truth...
1:14 AM
-
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
- 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 7
A friend once told me that in relationships, you only get one chance to do it right.
Yet, obligations, assumptions, conditions, priorities, restrictions, standards, expectations... exist. Making you wonder, sometimes even forcing you to answer - what does it truly mean to do it right.
Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on
in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to
it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater.
-- The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans
Labels: Life, muse, stars
_____________Zoneseekers..::
by a perspective that relies on the author of Truth...
9:28 PM
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