A few weeks back, I had knocked off from work and was riding a bus towards IMM to meet my mom for dinner. I was initially accompanied by my colleague, but after he alighted I had still quite a long while before reaching the place. 

So I stared out of the window for awhile, looking at the crowds of cars and people rushing back to their respective dinner appointments, evening activities and whatever other activities that the bustle justified. 

In the midst of all this, I spotted an old Malay man, probably in his sixties, who was walking slowly towards the area that those flagging the bus were at. He was bespectacled, balding and had a weathered face which I could observe better as he boarded the bus, walked carefully towards my direction and sat himself on the sit beside me. 

He caught his breath and naturally surveyed his surroundings, taking a quick glance at me. Well, a usual practice of mine is that when someone who isn't of any obvious threat makes eye contact with me for some time, I'll smile (Some chain email says smiling brightens up a person's day I think. And as lousy a source it is to build a conviction, it doesn't hurt :P) 

He seemed pleased at my friendly gesture, and begun conversing with me. After some small talk about where I was going, how old I was, what I was doing etc. He got excited when I told him that I was serving National Service in the Police Force, reason being, he was formerly from the Force. 

Frankly, I could not understand more than half of what he was trying to tell me. He was speaking mostly in malay and in a smattering of English. So, I listened, nodded and tried to find out more of what he was saying through his gestures.

What I could make out of all that, was that he had been in the Police Force ever since he left school. He served in many divisions and the prime of his service was probably in the Police Coast Guards. He probably had no children, and was not married. Now, he had retired from the Force for about 5 years and was working part-time as a Security Guard at IMM. 

If he ever felt obsolete, left out by the pace of how things were going, unable to keep up to the progress of society - He never showed it. In retrospect, the only reason why such things would come to my mind was only because of the societal stereotype. 

If I were to judge merely on how he presented himself, he had pride. Pride for being a member of the Force. Pride for doing a duty for the country. Pride for completing what he had done.

For a moment, I was angry with my judgement - because I couldn't help but feel a sense of pity. I do not think that pity is actually what such an individual deserved. And as I reflected on why I called him 'Sir', that it was not really out of a sincere respect of his duties, but really because I wanted him to feel like he deserved the pride he felt.. Sigh.

We alighted the bus together, and I thanked him for all his advice although I had not much idea what was really said. But before I could leave, he held onto my hand and kept repeating a phrase - 'Sindiri Jaga Sindiri'  

"Okay Sir, I will find out what that means. Thank you Sir!"

What it literally translates to (as Danial says) is 'Self take care of self'

As much as this tale doesn't really amount to anything inspiring - to me, it reveals a deep and painful paradox.  

- Thomas hardy