When your in a desire of something, and having the feeling of not being able to get it; that is probaly one of the most hated emotions, mainly because its a really common emotion. Beyond the door; just a few moments within your reach, just slight inches away from your grasp... And you can't get it. Its not yours. Its does not belong... But why? Do you really want what is beyond that door? Is it what your piroirty commands? Is it what your will calls upon? Or... are there other matters that affect why you can't open the door..

'Cos the damned door is closed
When its not inviting you to enter, why bother? It could be a matter of discipline and an issue of pure determination to perservere onwards so you can just get it, but since, the door is closed - why try? Not only the pessimistic reach this catergory, but also the pragmatic. Those who realise it and then accept it. Unless of course, the matter is but delusional to what you really can achieve and perform. But when the systems block your entry, and you just can't get in... the mind always figures out a tune of 'giving up'. Not because you can't do it, (although it seemingly applies) but simply because, its not worth it.

'Cos I don't have the key
The concept problem. You don't know how to open the door, and how to actually get onto the path. It might not be a matter of lack of information, in fact - one could be very informed about the subject itself already. But to have knowledge doesn't equate to know. And to realise doesn't mean you will understand. Lost... confused... needing help.. but help doesn't seem to appeal at all when its mechanics are already what you have understood. Its probaly just what you have not known -- you can't open it. The key you wield is not it, and no matter how authentic it looks, how real it all seems, its the wrong one. You don't have the key.

'Cos I can't find the door
Whats really the correct thing? Where is the absoulte path... (to question, while keeping in mind that anti-absoulte also equates to one of those paths) When you don't know what the door is, you can't see the solution. Or maybe you can't even see the problem. It might just be a simple selection. It could be a complex maze of choices. Whatever there is, your looking for it.. and it can't be found.

'Cos I don't dare to open
Consequences. What happens when the door is open? What will actually occur... is it wrong? Or is it right? What does it mean to you when it happens? Life-changers spun around simple one-liners and twists of novels are finished off in a paragrah, to fill up with that totalistical thrill and tingle-lishtic excitement when you savour the discovery. The same sort of awareness will intrude into the feelings that stay hesistant upon this road. Should you open the door?

'Cos I don't want to open
The door is there... but no. Or maybe, not yet. Its calling, its waiting; but your caught up in something else. There are other doors to explore and to peep into first, aren't they? When the choices are relished and pondered... would you acutally choose the door and open it? In this case, when are you going to open it?

'Cos I just... can't open.
Why do you want to open the door? Why do you try to open it? Is there another door that is a lot more worthier to be choosen?



Where do you hear knocking?

---

_Past

June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009

---