I made this up while waiting for my turn to cut hair at school:

Sitting down here and wasting my time
Watching the digits flow away in rhyme
Feeling the heat and checking the crowd
Ranting bout the way the things have been dealt

We check the book, we see the clock
We argue, defend, and then go back to 'repent'
The man walks away, showing his style
Ranting bout the way we have rebeled

We aim stones at pots to keep our sanity pure
Blaming the missed shots on the state of global economy
Untying our ties and shuffling our feet
Ranting bout our watches, feeling the heat

We hear the voices up there and the faces that look down
The mocks and smiles that despise the air we breathe
We smile back and wave, then shake our heads
Ranting bout the way the man makes his pitch

We glance back in irritation when the man calls to us
He tells us to come back before our lunch
This line is censored
This line is too
Ranting bout the way we had been there...

Siting down here and wasting our time.

I do wonder what sort of apology letter I should be writing to the school when I escaped the after school cutting session. Afterall, the discipline had done such a great job by deciding today to check for hair being too long, dyed or spiked. (I fell into the first category) When, a) It was a day after Chinese New Year ended and the day before that had many of us having late remedial lessons back in school... b) it was a friday, whereby we could have took the weekend's time to cut our hair, c) we missed 3 classes where the teachers were covering major chapters and etc. Oh well, school's problem. I'll settle it on monday after I construct a good complain letter for defense purposes (The best ofense is a good defense) To quote my friend, "Where is democray?". I blame... the global state of economy.

Anyway, it doesn't matter, three wasted hours is okay, really. Just another irritation that life gives you.

Administrative-style updation peek:
I am now currently playing around with the idea of creating an RPG, remaking it from the idea of my lost (and pathetic) comic's storyline: Zoetic Retrospection. Of course, starting on the project now is kinda like a stupid idea. (Its a major year for me in the education system...) So I'll start slow by getting the resources for the game, confirming any complex programming coding I would want to know for the game and planing the story, Of course, I would want to deal more with the storyline and character development rather than grapics, animation and complex-coding stuff. I got one major problem now, and that is the sprites... I can't design sprites properly because I lack artistic talent. Maybe I'll enlist help... well. I don't think I can do good maps as well... Okay, I think I WILL enlist help. If all goes well, the project blueprint would be done by june and the gamemaking would begin in november, after the major exams. By then, I think would have time to properly set up a website even, but I do need to think of a theme of what to do. (Webcomic? Flash?) Or maybe I can just get my talented buddies to be the main man and I'll borrow the space for downloading the game. Well... no promises.

UPDATE !!!!
And don't believe scoffers who says RPGs aren't fun. They really do give intellectual fun. Its not only having one single slow character moving around talking to people and saving the world... There are many different types of RPGs, many different styles of RPGs, many different presentations of RPGs and its not so solid and uninteresting with just one guy fixed to one stupid destiny designed stupidly by the programmers. (I empahsise again I'm not talking about MMORPGS) And besides, who I think you can trust a guy who completed over 60 RPGs and played over 80 compared to someone who just played pokemon, yeah. ( Heh)

Being, an avid RPG fan, I think I'll do a strong fightback one day. But for now, my tributive essay would do.

The reason why humans want to classify things, define boundaries, create absolutes, construct fields of contrasts and promote an awareness to logical and purposeful conclusions and facts, are pretty much very obvious. Its a trait of the human being that is etched in us conciously and unconciously, and one can answer the necessity of Definitate Science, essay style, overpouring with several interlinked factors. Yeah, there is that model answer. But anything else?

The most basic factor that occupies the air which the concept is surviving in, is the thing about ease. There would be a greater ease in futher studies, a better environment to research and develop on while theres the textbooks of information based on the respective chapter in the world of science. With technology doing the party quest with it, the whole thing about information that is properly organised would be reachable. And thats the thing that matters. When the thing is reachble, then humans can go out there to build on it and save more, kill more, bring comfort to more and distress more. There would also be ease for those who are passionate in the sciences. With the help of definations, it would be much more easier. For instance one guy could quote, 'Alloy has no formula, therefore mixture.' Its considered speaking layman while having the essence of science jargon in it. One would be able to determine that the 'formula' he refers to is a chemical formula and that 'mixture' his talking about is two substances physically combined together. Alloy is of course defined as a mixture that consists of a metal combined with another element, usually also a metal. Science jargon, terms and research-cum-analysis-therefore-interpret situations have allowed the human race another language, and therefore, another playground. Well, ease is in fact a very good, and probaly a good enough, reason for the way of the sciences today.

Another case study of why the offical sciences function as such can be infered when we look at the upcoming trend of 'pop science'. I'm especially ashamed of pop psychology, party because when the science is not that recognised and go surfaced on towards the entertainment hub... well. Not to say pop psychology is wrong or anything, but as the summary of the conversation I had with my dad this morning would put it, pop psychology is nonsense.(e.g. stuff like how the shape of your face relates to your character, how the position you sleep at at night relates to your personality etc.) I do wonder how they get get the 'scientific results' from their studies... From statistical feedback? Go check my recent rant on feedback in the Archives. And well, if for some reason I had forgotten to state, statistical feedback is dependant on several factors and circumstances. I suppose thats sorta obvious, but well, the paper stuff is still moving around. I understand political correctness value... but well.

Things would also be alot more efficient with the official science. You can probaly get no where with philosophing about stuff and asking the meaning of life in the many variations. The stuff that are abstract and not solid but more based on unfounded and running thought flows would get someone no where. Like Zoneseeking... (yeah.. sad.) I have found an irony in the thing about physics, being a subject that is relating to the physical world and its aspects, and where stuff can get really run-around and abstract, physics in the official manner actually demands accurary. Its probaly the only paper that has you to put the .0s after your numbers to show that the value is only an approximate as random errors will screw you up in the pratical, making your answers less accurate by 0. -infinite number of zeros here- 1.

But then, science cannot always answer everything. Doing things the offical way with research, analysis, concept-building and solid interpretation, don't always work. Let me end this with some cheesy style:

The way the body works
Biology

How sound gets to your ears
Physics

Identification of a aqueous substance
Chemistry

When Singapore became independant
Social Studies

Reason of why.
Zoneseeking

There are some things absolutes can't buy. For everything else, theres Science.


(If you didn't get it, it was the mastercard joke)

Yeah... I know I'm late since the joke has be exhasted to the max.. and that didn't make much sense anyway.

Oh wells.


--

Conversational (From Friend)

"You see those coins there? They carry the burden of intergrity and honesty. You know how heavy that is?"
"No."
"You don't know how heavy that is?! Your not human!"

Nah. I think that 'no' is a very normal reaction and answer.


For humans.

I wonder what sort of justice humans were trying to implement when actions and words get lost in the mainstream of the puglistic world, say the thing about showing the finger inbetween the index and the third, and words like the particular 'F' one. Something significant, hushed and hidden in the package of insitutionalised education. Such acts, due to long forgotten occurances in the past, have turned into the taboo. Into the catergory of socially incorrect. Perhaps, as a friend had said to me, the F word has many definations. One such would be the so-called 'swearing', a vent of fustration or a direct insult. The origins of this stuff are forgotten and not really cared about, maybe it was from hearsay. Maybe offical labelization. But such liberative out-puts of such acts are really hard to be conisdered considerable. Nowadays, the acts would be much harder to implement. But, the old age stigmas have remained in the society, never expected to be out of a trend.

The resultant of this matter was probaly accepted by the same concept in the law of supersitition, somewhere along the lines of a placebo effect (something which i will probaly be doing another entry on, sometime later) Scientifically looking, it sometimes doesn't make much sense . What has 'Shit!' have to do with whatever distress you are inside now? There are also instances when it makes sense in an indirect way, say, the term 'noob' in online games. The person might not be someone new to the game, but rather an old guy that screws your team up or just plainly sucks. Then, there are the words that have meanings added to them and which are considered literally. Like 'sucks'. And... well, 'screwed'.

There would be the payback that comes from the acts, I suppose looking at a person you hate and saying 'Damn you, moronic bastard.' would give you some sort of emotion, maybe shoikness or guilt. And when you're in deep shit, saying, 'freaking crap' might give you a leeyway to vent the fustration. Yeah, man's way of creative expression. Perhaps just because the word is something forbidden, that would make one desire more of it. The joy/guilt from it, because your feeling can be relieved or spent, would be debative in considerment of being wrong. The monks have even labeled all desires as wrong and create many more forbidden lanes.

Cultural speculation.... maybe thats just it. Cultural speculation. The rituals man have created for himself have transcended much futher then the simple act of cursing and swearing anyway.

Man has interesting ways to populate the lawbook...

The decesions of banes in societies, and the restatement of the cause for a way out.

Fish.

How deep a subject is, how abstract something can be, how many reactions it should spark: Based on thoughts, based on circumstance, based on influecnce; corrupted with pressure, tainted with unease, shrouded with denail... depends.

On everything. Variably, the ones who think are the ones that get the full blow of this considerment of immersion. To decide between whether is it a cage or a reserve. To distinguish between a trek over zealous enthusiasm and a run.

The process is foggy. Words don't do much justice. The assumpsions and literative conclusions are sometime debative and not even towards relevance or expectance of the variable. How deep is it? How far down can you go? What measures should you take? What conditions should it be? How can you manage the depth.... and still run?

Reactions don't care about the answers and the answers don't care about the details. Nothing much is given to the process, the collection. The throw out. The carvings.

To decide. To makeshift. To analyse. To debate. To retrospect.

When its not about knowledge. Not about proving. Not about explanations. Nor definations. Nor confusions. Nor decesions.

Because.

Reality speaks of its dream.

The dream that appears vivid.
The illusion that seems so real.
The colours constructing memory.
The pain defining the tales.

The dream that is so binding.
The cage that feels so true.
The bars that hint at warmth and comfort.
The faiths that keeps us through.

The dream that creates miming.
The wars that brings out fuel.
The cause that makes one wonder.
The force that concludes it true.

The dream that.


"Why do you build, knowing destruction is inevitable? Why do you learn to live, knowing all things must die?" -- Kefka, Final Fantasy 6


Because of hope.
Strong, clear and bright.... Hope.

I speak of the education system. The big guy that binds me into this stupid cube that trys its best to go against the laws of physics (namely gravity). The ignorant fellow that traps the stupidity of humanity into a fluff of jelly.

What do you call it again?

To hope?To be determined? To preservere?

I demand a point.

We have not inherited the present from our past; We have summoned it from our future.

And its happening everywhere. In everything.

Stupid humans.

The beauty that I enjoy the most is nature's beauty. Nature's beings and the attributes and qualities that they body and radiate, are really the things that awe and make mankind realise the true meaning of wonder. Man-made items really hold no comparison to nature. As my social studies teacher put it, man are very confused creatures. The basic creation that is on par in terms of expansiveness with nature are our buildings, and buildings, are things that bound. The norm of the four walls are symbolic of prisons, of cells that bind and trap. The reason behind such boundings? Man probaly desires protection and privacy, and yet they also want to have a good standard of life and therefore create vast regions and areas, bigger buildings, taller houses, larger land space. But remember the fence.

But what can beat the vastness of nature? Vast would be the something that is attributive of nature, observe any being of it: skies, seas, land etc. There is no prison. There is no cell. Everything shows abundance, and carries a sense of new awareness --- the awareness of freedom.

And it is with perhapstance that man long for such freedom. Democracy? Freedom and liberty? Yes, man want such. But they also want something else... they want to control. They want to manipulate and change... they try their best to save lives and yet try their best to destory lives as well.

But maybe they forgot that life is supported by nature in the first place. Maybe they forgot that life starts by the laws of nature in the first place.

Maybe, they only can remember... their fence.

I look at the skies
I look at the rain
I look at the shine
And I see a bane

I look at the stars
I look at the fire
I look at the sands
And I feel the drain

It seems like a mock
A slient warning...
A yell that exists, that does no pain

I look at the trees
I look at the earth

And then I wonder
of its great curse

'Love and connection' is one of those necessities for the human identity, and one of the ways to get such love and connection is through celebrative events. Such events = Food + Gathering + Talking + Television. Well at least those are the primary things, there are a few others I won't bother to think about...

Today's the first day of the Lunar New Year... and I confess that, I don't really like it. Well, other then the food and money that comes with it, that is. Anyway.. I won't bother moving into matters too personal here... So, happy new year.

Humans depend on each other a lot, we live off each other directly or indirectly and share our pains and joys together because of our existance on this planet. (/common sense) One reason that is harped on by the world concerning dependence is this something called love. And as I've mentioned before, unconditional love commited by humans is something practically impossible. I won't go into all the cliched and mentioned types of love, kinds of love, definations of love and true love etc. here, but one thing that I will go through is something called pretended love. Perhaps naming such a concept by the adding an adjective to a noun is kinda inappropirate, but with that idea of pretence crusted into love, I'll go rant.... later.

//------------ -------------\The Bands of Dependence
I'll make my characters shape with two analogies:-

The Food Chain (I learnt this in primary school)

The Sun
The main guy, the supplier and source of the energy. Its not exactly practical to label any human as 'Sun' because no one is really that worthy of living for, with and by totally in full dependence on. No one, except God. Perhaps humans, neglecting the presence of him, would have chosen another object to be their battery and idol. Whether the promise will stay is dependant on that battery and its ability to stay constant within changed circumstances.

Plants
The direct recipient. Work needs to be done still, when light is recieved from the Sun. That photosynthesis is necessary for the energy to be recieved. However, like plants, the process of photosynthesis is somewhat hidden and cannot be seen. But it doesn't mean influence would not erupt, the influence of knowledge that photosynthesis is existant would be from how green the plant is --- chrollophyll (or whatever the spelling is lar) This chrollophyll, the requirement for photosynthesis is, in fact already in the plants in the first place. I.e. The use of the recipient is just a tap on, a draw on of power.

On the practical level, 'plants' would be those who depend on others for a reason, with simple logic. They are growers from aspirations that would be sown in them to produce their wanted aim. Such dependence is seen as friendly, as perfectly all right and most probaly, the best sort of dependence that is around.

Herbivores
The second reciever in the process. The first thing to notice, that this form of recieving actually destorys the ealier recipent, in the process of eating the guy up. Of course, the bowel movement of the latter would help the other potential direct recipient, but thats simple for the herbivore to do. Herbivores chew plants directly, without the latter fleeing from him.

On the practical level, 'Herbivores' are the ones who feed depend on others, only for the want of their own benefits, but it doesn't want to erupt any bad feelings between both parties --even though the recieving may be in fact, destruction. Such dependence is seen as harmless and its mostly viewable from cases where people want to be politically-correct. Its also in situations when someone is ready to backstab or betray, or situations where people assume that they love and try to love.

Carnivores-- and Omivores
The third and/or third-cum-second reciever in the process. Now, there is a fight that can be seen between the herbivore and carnivore. Such violence would represent obvious unrest and negetivity of the dependence.

Practically, such dependence is selfish and shunned. Its a one-sided dependence with no acknowledgement nor 'yes' from the other party. It would mean monologucial shows between both parties with one acting desperate/angry/over-caring/unsensitive etc. The omivore, as deduced, is the someone who transcends and combines between both reciving ways.

The P2P Program (Stuff like Kazza)

The Hosts
Sun-style, this guys has all the lobangs and keeps all the main stuff. The stuff, usually given out free, shows full intention of a want to impart that the Hosts desires to budge as such. They want only to be depened on, nothing else.

Sharers
After grabbing enough stuff on their buffet plates, these guys go back to consume and share. They are kind enough and partial dependence is okay for them.

Leechers
They take stuff from the Hosts and the Sharers and don't share their stuff. They want to depend on and not be depended upon.
\\------------ -------------//

From the bands, many specific personas and proflies can be infered and some other traits outside that field might come to mind as well.

Now theres the thing I was talking about earlier.... Pretended love.
Seriously, its not hard to see.. basically its everywhere.

Simles on their faces, questions hinting with concern, words that show that they do not want to irritate, voices that make sure they soothe.
The fakery is always lingering there so that no one will disappoint and so that no one will digest negetive emotions. Its almost as if humans had learnt this new ability for the sake of avoiding negetivity. But then again, its probaly not new.

Everyone knows... everyone can tell.

And no one cares.


The Rooster Crows.

Feedback forms can come in several structures, and one interesting structure I have noticed is the 3,2,1 way:

3 things I have learnt from this workshop...
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________

2 things I can put into practise after this workshop...
____________________________
____________________________

1 thing would like to know more about...
___________________________

--
I dunno if there is any scientific reason behind this approach... but it seems to be a werid way to get feedback.

First you ask the dude to tell you a lot about what he has learnt from you, then you expect him to cite what he can apply in reality and then you want him to say how to improve the course.

The trainers are really facing a big ego problem here. They need affirmation that we know the stuff, assurance that we can apply the stuff and then a bit of feedback. Note the numbers...They had seemingly reduced the number of points from the first one to the second one, for the sake of giving lesser room for application of the theories. And then the last one... for the sake of getting little improvement change. As in, 'there would be a necessity for applications outside the workshop, so I must put in some space for the pupils to write. But no need for so much, because they would have learnt more. And I'm good enough... so one improvement for me would do.'

Perhaps thats the way to get 'good feedback'.

But of course, thats only a marketing gimmick and a show of business stratergy (perhaps) or maybe just some sort of reinforcement pill for the participants to consume so that they can go out to the world and make it big.

Feedback is often belittled today. Depending on the different sorts of feedback that concerns an individual, a feedback would determine a reaction, give an influence and impart a new awareness to the victim. It obviously is not always something to be desired, especially when its something where negetivity is actually considered good. Human beings hate stuff to be like that, and they shun it, so now, the hype about self-esteem has gandered more cookie points, pleaing for people to indirectly not accept feedback. (You can do it! Believe in yourself!) Of course, there are those from the same school that says they believe in constructive critism and perhaps even constructive pessimism. The logic of reverse psychology is also welcomed to enter this roaral of feedback. One thing about feedback, is that it is an initiation for the other party to change. It may not be direct nor personal, but still, the burn that it inflicts would be good enough to be named a 'provokation'.

Statistical, Paper-wise Feedback
As the topic had rocketed off from.. the sort of forms and surveys and other sort of stuff in the same family. To notice that my friends (and probaly everyone else who goes to school) have nicknamed these stuff as 'bullshit' is a perfect feedback to show how reliable a feedback would really be. Sometimes, they are useful, especially when one is drawing conclusions and generalisations on the large scale. But its accuracy is sometimes in question.... and this is something that should be looked into, especially when most psychological investigations (especially the behaviourists) take such a form. There are the usual, cliched and talked-about problems with these sheets of papers, and not much can be gathered. The way the paper can be structured is also a problem. ( 1 2 3 4 5 Strongly Agree, Strongly Disagree... etc. ?) I think, there should be a indepth psychology of feedback. The average human would have some sort of bias to feedback and depending on certain readings, there would be affected readings.

___Types of Feedback

Verbal and Essay-answer-style Feedback
Under this field, we would have the stuff like critisims, comments, written/spoken advice, opinion-wise judgements etc. Nowadays, it would be hard to get geninue feedback because of the two-way problem: Your ego and the person's cowardice. (Or if your not a socially accpeted someone, exaggerated remarks at your flaws.) I still do not know the model answer on what to say when a girl asks opinion of how she looks: its really a complicated matrix where I'm wondering if flirting is concerned, whose ego is at work of inflating/deflating and basically what emotion to exhale. If positivity should be used, what to accompany it? If negetivity were to be used, what to restore a correct standing? But then again, I don't think its my fault when these sort of somewhat useless, rethorical or motive-wise questions come into play. Doing feedback on such terms are hard for some people, basically because when such feedback is asked of that someone, he would go through a process of identifying the new or special feature of the item his feedbacking on, while this is going on, he would probaly be having a thought process of comparison with things relating to the item. And comparison means telling the difference. And people like me, can't tell the difference between the laksa at clementi or at katong. Unless there are really distinct differences, or unless there is a special attraction to a particular attribute, difference and therefore relevant feedback, is hard to guage.

Then theres the thing about leaving comments on blogs or throwing in comments towards forums etc. I applude such ideas, because forums and comment discussions are really good and interesting. I used to enjoy the gamefaqs forum board for the various RPGs last time and even had in depth physics discussions concering time, space, dimensions and chrono trigger characters. The other good thing is the cool civilised bullying one can thrust out over the keyboard. In the comfort of your home, the other guy can't do anything to you and you can just state your stands and fight back with the power of words. Like an elections, people would come in to support you and aid with their own posts. Very cool.

Assumed Feedback
Obviously, assumed feedback links to the previous sort of feedback. But without considering verbal and essay-style stuff, assumed feedback can come from body language, first impressions, people influence, circumstance installations etc. However, all these usually are ingredients together with the bulk of verbal and essay-style feedback that paint a mental picture of the other group's/individual's proflie or intention. This stuff is pretty self-explanatory really, someone does something, like for instance says 'hi'. You immediately jump into assesment mode and think that the person implies something... it can be sub-concious and depending on your fuse, maybe you won't have such a big and obvious reaction. There have been books talking about the power of such assumed feedbacks and actually teaching you the science/art behind performing such.... which denies the facts behind how its dangerous and not be taken so literally. (your assuming anyway) But maybe, the books have this disclaimer in it as well.

Official/Office, Political, double-edged sword style Feedback Besides the political cartoons, commentaries, forum page articles and mind games looming around, the feedback around these sort of stuff are somewhat fuzzy sometimes and the guy who said 'despot' at the forum on question to LKY had gave feedback that it was hard to give feedback. Well... I'm not really a totally fantatical devotee to the PAP, but about the articles not reaching the Straits Times, there can be several reasons. Looking at the way the dude attacks the problem, his sort of a civilised rebel type and that should be sufficient feedback of what sort of articles his writing to the newspaper. The point he seems to be trying to bring across is the the newspaper is doing censorship. And thats... well... Straits Times is a pro-people not pro-government paper, i.e. government doesn't tells it what to ban(Skeptics may think theres the underground, ahem... perhaps i guess) and even so, it needs to mantain a form of political-correctness. I mean, why the heck do you want to block out new opinions? Two reasons, firstly, because there needs to be a degree of conservity, because singapore has a fragile society and cannot insult/infume others easily. What comes out in print can be direct evidence against singapore, and stories of backstabbing, betrayal, and politics(well..) can be told from here; secondly, because theres not enough space to print, pirority of news articles count. But thats just a something I was wondering about... I didnt exactly catch the whole dialouge session between them.

___The Use of Feedback
The logical reason behind feedback is for getting a change in stratergy, and depending on the sort of feedback and the way you get the feedback, the sort of reaction you would be provoked into. Evangelism would consist of the gandering of every sort of feedback as well, doing so effectively might ensure successful evangelism, but then again, it depends on how the success of evangelism is measured. 'Effectiveness' could be a better term. However, the logical reason of feedback is not consistently recieved as the usual reason of feedback. No one admits it, but sometimes its just used as a front, as an ego booster or politically-correct move. Official feedback is sometimes just the right thing to do, and only those that really have the desire to improve can seem to stomach the feedback.(even so, their emotions that might erupt from the given feedback.)

But people who don't want to change at all, probaly wouldn't see feedback as something to use. They might just see it as... something that exists. For nothing.

"Are you the extreme fanatics you appear to be? How do you
distinguish yourselves from the Muslim extremists you would condemn? Are you
ecstatic over this week's tsunami destruction? I believe you do a lot of damage;
and I wish you would stop perpetuating this delusional and immoral thinking that
celebrates each occasion of human disaster as testament to your arrogant fantasy
of deferred privilege. Does this recent tragedy somehow lend creedence to your
views? Rather than gloating, wouldn't you better serve the world by putting that
human effort for the people who have been afflicted? I am deeply concerned that
by keeping desperate & lonely people focused on the promise of a future in
the next world, you send a message that dis-empowers them from living this life
as fully and as generously as they might. The people I know who hold to your
views revere suffering and do nothing to take personal responsibility for their
lives now. They manifest powerlessness and self-destructiveness in every
dimension of their lives. Those are the folks you feed on ... cultivating masses
of people who chronically deny personal responsibility, people who are elevated
by suffering, who see it as a sign of their promise on its way at last. Where ARE your hearts? And what does any of this have to do with the
soul? Christ came to liberate the world from the harsh word of the Old
Testament ... yet you continue to revel in its darkest folds. Look inside and
you will see mirrored the very Antichrist you decry. What you teach is
delusional and dark. I urge you to heal your hearts and souls and stop
scavenging on the backs of hopeless and needy people. "

-- Taken from RaptureReady.com, 'Interesting Email'

You know, sometimes when you ponder about marketing stratergies and when you figure out rationales behind elements of the marketing, (or at least when I do such) the genius of the idiot that thought of such a great stratergy etc. and when you are caught up in that mousetrap that has been laid by those great guys, you'll start to have those strange, awkard-fashioned, distributive, reserved and somewhat neutral, seziures. I.e. you go 'what the heck have I gotten myself into this time? aw crap...'

Blogspot is a perfect example of this. A stupid idea of an open diary for the whole world to read about your views, your day, your happenings and your life has became so popular for logical reasons of perspective-intake, tidbits to curb hunger, to catch up with friends; social reasons of sub-concious acceptance, sub-concious self-potryal, peer pressure and no-brainer ''ooh cool! I wanna join!!'' antics. (I know I'm going to have a lot of apologising to do.... support creative freedom of speech a bit, despots.)

Anyway, you can laugh at the irony that I'm a blogger myself. I've even got three personal blogs in the running.

Okay, I'll cut the classy beginings away and speak about some randomly rojaked aspects of blogs...

Length
Seriously, I didn't care about the length of my posts at all when I first begun blogging. Length is just an attribute to a piece of article and doesn't give much concern to its content and quality. It was only when this certain friend of my harped so much on the number of words of essays and insist that he had no problem in writing lengthy essays, that my awareness of length has grew slightly larger. Still, I do believe that length has nothing to do with essays, in fact, the essays that are the shortest but bring out the greatest meanings, are the essays that should be considered the better written ones. And I know that its hard to reach such a standard, thats the logic behind why I hate word limits.

A long length, can either put off someone or attract someone to search deeper into it. So it really depends.

Zoneseekative Stuff
When I have nothing better to do or have too many things to do, I would go blog and zoneseek. If one pays attention to my posts, one will notice that the stuff I do aren't organised at all. This is especially true when I do one-word topics like 'Tolerance'. My entries gets very out of sync as I just get my views out onto the screen without considering structure nor idea flow. The 'whatever I think about at the moment, I write about'. I don't do research or refer to something when I do blog entries, except maybe the key points of the topic when I do stuff like 'Breaking into the Identity'. I also like to create my own words without warning. You don't find words like 'foundatative' or 'liturerative' in the dictionary, but by the power and magic of the English language, its probaly understandable when its read in context.

Theres also this one problem with zoneseeking... because it concerns metaphorical and literal topics revolving around psychology, philiosophy etc., its usually very 'you can see and understand what I mean right?' So sometimes, I start the blog entry by a thinking session and end it with the blog still empty, basically because I have the feeling that it can be seen and noticed or because its already there and easily seeked. Other times, halfway in a blog entry I assume that people can see an entire section of a certain subject and therefore don't type about it. Its not the practical knowledge part nor the theory part, its more of the seeing and getting it part. (My blog has not much practical knowledge anyway) So I'm not refering to the information I'm saying, but rather the...
Well. You know...

Posts that have no reason to exist
No, I'm not talking about my whole blog, although such a labeling can be possible. But stuff that I write thats really meaningless and seem to have no point, I just do it for the reason that theres a need of the existance of having 'no reason'. I believe thats a reasonable enough reason. This is meaningless really. But you get the reason.

The Drawback with knowledge that people ARE aware of your blog and probaly reading it
I don't really know how many people actually read into the content/crap of my blog, but with the knowledge of people that have an awareness of my blog, there would be the nagging sort of feeling that repels me from doing entries. (Thats one reason why I say blogger is a genius) I do have a hidden counter-cum-tracker on this blog, but its seriously useless to know the reader's IP addresses and other jargonfied information, and knowledge of whos coming is besides the point anyway. Its both sub-concious and concious, and in both streams, I'll be trying to be politically-correct, depending on the situation on how that term can be defined. There are a variety of reactions from people who read my blog: I have made people impressed (for no good reason), I have made people angry, I have influenced some who in turn get 'inspired' by me, I have made people say I'm being lame and crappy, and I have plenty of other feedback like "you think too much", "wah, cheem ar" to the other extreme of "life is a matter of perceptions, your perception may be true... but then, maybe not.", "Because". And of course, the people who paint more colourful word-pictures versus me who belittle my essays and just give a simple nod to them (however, this species has become extinct. It seems that they have all stopped blogging.) I also have to announce that I do not really like people talking directly about my blog entries. I mean, its okay if discussion is made on the general topic using that article as a platform to branch, but announcing 'RICE' out and quoting titles and content... ahem. Just don't do it.

So whats the role of this blog?
Alright.... I'll break away from those uncatergorised bold pointers and now attack the main point. I was seriously thinking of doing an ending like, having the words 'the answer:' here and then show the complexity of blank space before the last words of 'I have no idea.' But thats too cliched and... stupid. But the true role of this blog? I believe that, in my previous entry on the Role of my Blog, I had rambled enough about the various roles of the common blog. And mine... the point of mine is...


Argh. Blogspot is a genius.

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