I'm ready.
Been in a stupid state for the past week. Seemed extremely long but when I look back I realised it was just the past week. Soon sunday would come and let the craaped up "tribulation" end. And I would slip back into being zoney again. I dunno whether it was cos of my week or something but the last entry I wrote sounded totally not my style... kinda like something missing... if there was a quality check it would be brought to the declaration centre and be questioned.
Anyhow, I'll let three cliche-sounding quotes be a little reminder to not get into such an idiotic week again:

Dreams and fantasies are what they are.... momentary, unreal.
Thinking too much about the unnecessary is harzardful to one's health.
This one is simply.... Curiousity killed the cat. (And cats have 9 lives...)

Great.... now prehaps tomorrow I can get back my portal of zoneseeking which was left on my dad's laptop after the computer formatted. I haven't continued any of the novels cause the freakin data is stuck on the laptop. Somehow, a false alarm of inspiration striked me to write Emotional Sense. Three pages, no story seems to be going. Besides knowing the basic plot, the rest is totally unplanned. So I'll leave that aside...

Yeah... so thats all.

Night world.

(About the previous post... I guess all bloggers would get like that sometimes... Feel upset, want to trash it out and get out some junk onto the net. The next day they post a message saying they did it in some fit of anger and deleted the post to prevent futher conflicts. I shall break tradition.)

I hate competition. Sadly, the society loves it. And we must do that everywhere. Its the only correct answer, the scientific method, the one way which will ensures the best get choosen. I know lots of people already barged into the office of the MOE and trashed the education system. I know people try their best ways to get new systems. But........... the usual stuff happens and in the end no one does really care.

But really... Lots of stuff can't be determined through competition...
I want to name a few...

Food
Which is the best food in the world? Which is the tastiest? How the hell does one measure that? No yardstick, only assumed goodness. Factors affect this field, taste buds challenge it, the environment rebukes it.

Literature
Books and stuff, no way something is the best just because its on the bestseller list for weeks. This guy is attacked by personal opinion, self-assumptions, self-thought. Some story can be considered ridiculous for one and have morality to another. No way for competition to enter.

Role-Playing Games
Just saying what just came to my mind... These stuff can't be defined as which one is the best... no way. Every aspect that is tried to be perfected in this area can go the the extent of goodness and finally face the opinion of one. Gameplay, storyline, character development, story morales, battle system... yeah... been long since I last touched an RPG...

Play of Words
Forming of quotes, making snappy retorts, listening to a enaging speech, falling victim to a person with complexity brought out by simplictiy, facing an idiot with complexity emapsied with unnecessary vocabulary, sarcasm, reverse psychology, the socratic method, zoneseeking...

Beauty
Is in the eye of the beholder... Exactly. Think nature, people, things, words, God, music, rythms, behaviourism, character, personalities...

Yeah... all common sensical isn't it?
So wake up society.... The alarm clock has been ringing. I mean it stopped cause the battery ran out, but technically, it IS ringing...

Man... Finally.
No, I decided I won't move into any details of not bloggin for the passed epoch.
This pass few weeks have been totally crazy... My perceptions and personalities have transcended from being a geek to a nerd to a desprate admirer to a fanatic, to an asummer, to a performer, to an enthu crapper, to a labeler, a teaser, a friend, an insulter a.... ah hell.

*Smashes onto keyboard*

Ignorance WAS bliss man... why the hell did I have to find out that... What is the very great meaning of me discovering such a ridiculous, meaningless, contirdictory, out-of-point, lame and confusing piece of mangled information!

That was one area I should never have seeked... I should have just left me to my good old fantasy... and my great old dreams... and stick to that. 

Now just to accept... and heck about regreting. I hate that. Just accept. The piece of news I learned.

I need to learn which where and what to seek next time. And learn to kill my emotion of curiousity when its needed. Heck if its not an emotion. I attribute it totally to the same place where the mind controls emotions and reactions.

Great thing is I have discovered I have this ablity of steping back and looking at stuff in the big picture. A new one I want to gain is to kill my emotions when needed.

Quoted From Distant Fragility: " To be humans means to have feelings... To have feelings means to be weak..."

Sometimes.............. ignorance IS a good thing.

 

This is amazing. Its the first time I ever had a writer's block on blogger. Usually, I'd just open it up, think a bit on what to write about and let my fingers do the talking. Something would just come to me then. Today... I have backspaced about three topics and deleted paragraphs of crap. Oh well... I gotta admit these things happen. Especically when we deal with stuff invovling our inspirations and emotions. Come to think of it... Words are powerful and powerless. Language is a useful tool of communiation and yet a bad way of translating deep thoughts. We are only expressed out to such an extent. That internal conflict, that naggin feeling, that unnamed emotion... we let it live in us instead... Anyhow, words are better then nothing...

Grrr... Lemme get back to you later...

I will have to wait for a magic hour...  then... i will write.

I wonder.
When I finally found an excuse to operate the computer and kick up the internet connection, here I am staring into the blank space waiting to be filled up by the meaningless words that would soon invade its presence. It has savage patience don't you think? The time blankness and emptiness takes to provoke you into a emotion. And the emotions it can provoke....
Just take the example of me looking in the blogger entry space. It looks like the expectant, high mantience, overly-critical and agressively emotionally unstable, adudience. Squelchers.
 
Then again, some says it represents purtiy. Salvation? Peace and hope? Courage and trust? And all the babble of human values of equality and respect which involve the dove and anti-discrimination. Innocent actors. Hypocrites.
 
The irony of it that what it says presents a totally different picture from above. It presents emptiness. Nothingness. It says no more, there is no more. No more.... No hope? No more.... No meaning? Its inexistant.
 
I feel like talking more... but my actions have betrayed my emotions more than once.
So let me sign off... with the star of today- Blank Space
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I know its not white, but black... does add effect. (unless I somehow have reason to change my blog background...)

Remeber the time I said I was on the Left Behind >Kids< series? Yeah.. I managed to get the adult one too, and now doing good progress on both. (Book 9 and Tribulation Force respectively) I did say I would do no review on it. But the story just provoked me to have this thought and I decided to blog it here.

I asked a friend about this through msn and he gave me some story about having 2 versions of what was happening in the interpretation and that he stumbled upon some sort of webbie which showed that the rapture was wrong and that the left behind series wouldn't work. He then ended with a remark that no matter what would happen anway, he didn't and shouldn't care. I knew, and decided it was just for fun discussion anway. I added my own view that we should leave what is to happen up to God, afterall, he is our creator and his mind will defintely best our thoughts. Lets leave it up to his intentions.

But then, back on topic... Doesnt it seem that these people going through the Tribulations would be the ones truely tested for their faith? They would be the matrys and the ones who will be persecuted greatly. Those who have read the Left Behind series would be able to feel such. I don't know about the adult series, but the kids one did show them going through a lot. And to think I still am in process...

The ones left behind would be the ones who felt that they were stupid at first, that the salvation was there for them to take and yet they had to forgo it, be ignorant of it. Now they wanted their second chance. This time, the literally thirsted for the gospel, were hungry for it teachings and fed on its word. They would be the ones who took fellowship with extreme seriousness, afterall, they were already in their end times.

Back to my friend's idea, he thinks the tribulation is a sort of punishment for those who didn't take their second chance. God gave them ample opportunity and they presented apathy.

In any case, I praise the left behind series for what it is. I hold belief that it has acted as a gospel spreader to many/some. And also gave those who strayed, the path back on.

Okay now... Back to some admin stuff. Not that there was any in any place. I think I should add some sort of introduction to this blog. I don't really like to fill in my profile, but prehaps some introduction to what I am like a bit and what this blog is. I know that this blog is probaly just one of the zillion blogs in the internet that isn't cared about. I didn't tell my friends about this. The only place I left it at is my msn profile which I strongly doubt anyone would look at. And I know I can be 99% sure that I am the only one who has read this blog.

I can be contacted in ways obvious, just seek my profile.

Yeah well, looks like I'm talking to myself... heck. Life is crazy...

I currently have a nice bloggin topic in my mind but I don't think I am in any mood to zoneseek now. Nah... I'm not really the moody kind. I just care a lot of the quality of my writing and I think it won't turn out that good if I do it now. After looking through my blog abit, I see now that it turns into not exactly what I earlier expected. Then again, my expectations seem to change all the time. Abstractly by the hour,dramatically through years. Especically this year and last. And probally whats to come.

I believe many at this age will spend lots of time thinking. And reflecting. And regreting. Thinking back at what I was like before, I do feel that I did a lot of stupid things and commited several conciously performed mistakes. Then I wonder if in years to come I will look back at this blog and the crap I done in this stage and time frame and laugh, quoting my stupidity, repeating my processed history.

Ah... Anyway, to make this not another wasted post... hm.. I should rephrase that..

Okay... To make this not another repeatingly ranty, and meaningless post which it probaly already is and which is repeated... (heh.. nice pattern)..

I am. Now. Currently progressing in my madien novel, Distant Fragility. It is in the first chapter after a lengthy prolouge and I do have bits and pieces all scattered into a word file. I created no deadline and am playing by my mood on when to write.

In the midst, I started on another book, named fondly after one of the blog entries I made: The Conversational Matrix- Perceptional Differences.
This one is a supposed series book. I might do the same for Distant Fragility, only it will be a continuing series...or something else. I'll play by mood again...

CM compated to DF isn't that promising. I have no story planned out and the characters seem rather shallow. Well, the idea just suddenly floated into my head anyway. And DF, I planned that since I don't know when.... finally deciding to lauch it into a novel.

Oh well, now is the attempt to be accepted into the world of book-writing. I don't know whether in the end my works will get published or anything... But I sure do hope they will.

Ah...

Good night world.

Morning world...

Yeah, still have the same problem of not yet having my computer. In order to blog, surf or type, i need to hook up my dad's laptop. And in most periods, i'm too lazy too.

Anyway, there was this great concept for an advertistment I saw on TV. I can't remeber the exact words, but it makes good pondering over...

The ad was aided by the images of the current stage the ad was at. It started by saying we should all be born old, enjoying our life at the fullest, having already immerse wisdom and drinking in the wonders of what life has offered. Then after our golden years, we would be working. Already holding the highest post in the company, the boss, the CEO or some kind of manager. Then we would work down the line, go to our prime in life, the 20s, while celebrating the fact that we are becoming more healither and stronger...After marriage and setteling into a good job, to mark our sucess, we would buy a Mercedes...

Well, it was an advertistment anway. But the concept does sound appealing. If we forget all logic and rationales, life like that would sound extremely wonderful wouldn't it? If I continue the process, we would go through our teens then become childern, then babies, then we perish...

And there are, several things unmentioned in each stage of life. I am not very sure how to express it, but to sum up my feelings; I think that coming to life with total wisdom and experience and having problems which are not really considered problems...(old age, bad memory? sicknesses? all expected, therefore no big deal..)And growing up into greater health,greater strength and energy, passing down to find our experiences, enjoying each of them more for we have became better, and finally becoming a child and embracing our innocence and ignorance we had finally attained.

Yes...thoughts like this sometime remind me.
That I have to cherish my youth.
For when life doesn't happens this way, the great thing about it is you get to have memories...which you can keep till you reach golden years...

A couple of days ago, I managed to stumble upon this book. I just noticed it out of reasons I've forgotten.

Distance Haze is quite a good read, it’s basically about this writer, Wayne Dolan who is given a chance to visit this science institute for research for his next science fiction book. The science the institute studies however, is a pure study of using scientific methods to find God. Examples are computer programmes imitating God’s personality from known scripture, baseball caps that capture brainwaves of one etc. The story ventures on later towards other areas besides the university though it roughly clings onto the research of a serum which can eliminate the “God Module” of one, said by the book’s Nobel prize winner character as a part of us which draws us back from being more focused. It’s the region where humans think of deeper meaning and search for answers, and eliminating that would mean we would only depend on our powers of rational and logical thinking. I can’t really see if the author is pro-God/pro-religion or not, he certainly manages to maintain a good balance of both parties. This book however, is a far cry from what you would call a religious critic, wake-up book nor something one would see in a Life Bookshop. Something the man believes in, or rather as it is illustrated in the book’s text, is the existence of deeper meanings. Anyway, I don’t want to spoil a good read….

The book did put me in a new perspective for a few days as I ponder deeper meanings. It’s a thriller in a form of knowing that the scary thing can be there if you just notice it. After all, its your mind… The book does has patterns and stuff I think can be seen to have metaphorical and literal underlying meanings. Sad that I am no literature expert. I do think it would be satisfying for me to take literature as a subject, yet, I don’t score well in it for some reasons, so I didn’t take it.

I currently am on the Left Behind >Kids< series now, the books are at least "bite-sized" to read and the pace and haste is really speeding up at school now, so I guess they are a good choice for my reading pleasure now. I don't intend to review them though...

Anyway, its still too damned early for me to say good night to the world, so lemme just sign off...

"The consequence of letting the consequeces take care of themselves, is an exception to the effect of circumstances not going your way." - Zoneseekers

Yes, I do have an excuse for such a long delay before posting...
Basically, I lost my internet connection for this long period of time and its still not back. Using my dad's laptop for this cause the modem managed to work.

I remebered having a lot of reserves for bloggin a few days back, now however, I am in no state near being at my peak of zoneseeking.
I did think of a few topics worth blogging, I might do one sometime later this day.

So what is this post about? Right... Just a sign-in for me.

Oh well,

Good morning world...

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