The self in us desires to achieve an intimacy while struggling with how far is actually possession or over-bearingness. The communicative element in us desires to reach a unity while struggling with the difficulties of being unable to connect. The voice in us cries out to be understood while struggling with what is significant to us that we should in the first place understand. And all these will definitely be inadeqate achievements in all our friendships - on the personal, the coporate and even the existential level. Yet, we know that such a phrasing is only doing too much injustice to this concept of human relationships. The psychologists and sociologists who dare to have even acknowledged the very essential and unique - individuals.
An 'individual' has become a weak word. Maybe because in all of human effort in grappling with the notions of relationships, we have allowed terms of more specific significances to exist - we can indicate another 'individual' to be a colleague, team-mate, a leader, a boss, a teacher, a classmate. Even a friend. And yet, and yet... We all know another deeper concept to exist here. The concept of love.
Even that concept has become so clichedly weakened. Commercially. Societally. Morally. Hollywood-ishly. Fairy-tal-ishly. And yet, and yet...
Reluctant selfishness. Knowing other 'individuals' only goes so far. 'Love' can only give us so much. Its never quite as good as it can be... as it should be. We are selfish, because we helplessly desire such attainments - a personal, coporate and even an existential fufilment. But sub-conciously we know that those cannot be ultimately achieved in human relationships. Once we realise our distractions, and finally discover some sense of the importance of such fufilments... We wonder if the actual answer was to be distracted in the first place.
If 'love' were the goal of life, where was the source that had started this all?
The Christian believes the fuzzy fufilments we enjoy in relationships are just clues. Clues pointing towards a much more complete relationship. As a Christian, I know that despite my reluctant selfishness, I have founded that holistic fufilment :)
Sad to say, such a proclaimation has also become weak. Even the first Spiritual Law 'God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life' has turned into a mere proposition that faces questionable stares upon grounds of proper theology. In the words of Blaise Pascal, "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God." But yet, this is conveyed in an odd sense to the looking world who can easily respond 'We are satisfied. We are filled' Only until the sense of a reluctant selfishness hits again that it realises its really 'We can be satisfied. We can be filled.' And its ironically that reluctant selfishness that creates the reluctance to realise that logically speaking, we are unable to achieve this as an 'indivdidual', as one who is grappling with 'love'.
Christians have personal relationships with God. Something close enough to be considered exclusive, yet morally accurate enough to be deemed unselfish.
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." -- Isaiah 49: 15-16
Christians have an united coporate relationship as the Church on the basis of Jesus' blood. Unity is in one heart, one mind and one spirit.
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me." -- John 17:20-21
Christians understand their identity, and the reason for our inability to construct it originally.
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ." -- Eph 1: 7-9
And thus, Christians have the principles of Love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
-- 1 Cor 13:4-7
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
--- 1 John 4:7-10
And after making legacies, searching for a special someone, attempting an unfufilled ambition -
We would inevitably, and slowly start to understand what love really means.
"I do not know the answer to the problem of evil, but I do know love." -- The Brothers Karamazov
And thats because I know Christ.